Without beating about the bush, let me at the very outset, take my
readers, we the womenfolk, are living in a disturbingly painful and ever-present sense of
insecurity. It is an insecurity of a kind that carries with it an everlasting
humiliation, an inexpressible ugliness, a sham that ultimately ends up in self
hate, in the loss of any pride and self-respect that woman has. How
many women can go back home and repeat or describe to their family members the
ugly passes that were made at them, and the exact indecent and smutty remarks
that were hurled at them? No! She cannot repeat or describe them. She lives
with this poison; she feeds her own blood; it eats into the very vitals of all
that could be beautiful and healthy. Oh Lord! How those vulturous nude eyes
glare at her, shamelessly cutting through her ; that perversely sexy and brazen
faced look which , it pains me to say so, the world today can only identify
with the “ Muslim” eyes—a woman is constantly running away from them,
dithering away into the security of her home after her day’s work. A woman who
leaves her home in the morning to study. To teach, to minister unto her
attaints, to shop the family’s daily requirements—is a perpetual source of
anxiety to the rest of family members. Not until she is back home safe, can
they sit back and heave a sigh of relief. And this goes on day after day; the
family is all nerves, all jitters, with never a ray of hope, with never a
moment of respite. There is no protest from the public, no protection from the
authorities. If any one tries to bring to the motive of others the existing
state of affairs, there comes an indifferent and a “pious” retort : Why don’t
you lock your women in the homes? That is their rightful place, isn’t
it?
obviously, according to
them only bad women go out of their homes, and so they naturally invite bad
treatment. From sometimes past this bad treatment has been exploited by
religious demagogues, aided by their gutter journalism, to grind their own
political axes. They have it a complexion of a religious duty. Sending women
back home has become a means of achieving religious merit. Their vulgarity is
now sacred. Their shamelessness is now virtuous. They have thus gained
immunity from criticism,, condemnation and
punishment.
Realizing this potential threat to the stability of the society, over a
year ago, a group of student with whom I associated, made a public appeal “in
the name of all that is decent and precious”, and asked; “Are we, the women
of Pakistan, to expect no better
treatment than this? Is it inevitable for Muslim woman to feel dishonored and
insecure outside her home, simply because she lives in a Muslim society? We
appeal to the intelligentsia to come forward and act, if not in the name of
morality, then at least in the name of chivalry and gallantry. We warn you-to
day this method may be used as a weapon and a means only, but if not checked
in time, it may become a way of life. Retreat from there will not be an easy
one”.
My fears are as to whether it has not already become a way of
life!
I cannot imagine for a moment that Qaid-e-Azam visualized this in his
Pakistan. No, not Qaid-e-Azam who had his sister Miss Fatima Jinnah, proudly
beside him where ever he went in his public duties and programmes. And dear
readers, I wonder how many of you are aware of Muhammad’s (pbuh) description
of an Islamic Society? When questioned on the standard of judging as to
whether a society has reached perfection, he replie:when a lone woman travels
from Yemen to Syria with a complete sense of security, a society may be
said to have achieved the standard Islam lays down. Indeed! There could not
have been a better touchstone, and alas ! We are the furthermost from is
compared to any other community in the world.
I have no intentions of starting another
series of mutual recriminations and diatribes between men
and women, on whose mutual understanding and
harmony depends the future of our society. Enough mud-slinging has been done,
and we have no time for any more emotional bouts. We have already wasted
seventeen precious years in discussing intimately women’s hands and arms, they
hair-do and dress in the National and Provincial Assemblies, in the
newspapers, and from the pulpits in the mosque in every nook and corner of the
country. The downright vulgarity and nakedness that marked these so-called
public debates was more a manifestation of mental perversion than any concern
for moral values. It is high time that we stopped all this and tried to
analyze the causes of a “Muslim’s” attitude towards women dispassionately and
objectively. What gave him his worldwide reputation of the owner of “harems”,
and his never to be satisfied
lust? Let us find it out and salvage his reputation for the future that is yet
to be.
If we are ever to comprehend this very delicate and important issue,
namely, relation between men and women, one thing will have to be borne in
mine, that is, the nature of the sexual urge in a human being. Unlike his
other important instinct, the instinct of self-preservation, sex is not a
biological urge. The urge for food and drink is awakened irrespective of a
human being’s thought process. The sex instinct on the contrary, is aroused by
thoughts, thus distinguishing it from hunger and thirst as a biological urge,
and entering into the realm of a psychological phenomenon. The general
time-honored concept in our society is that sex is a biological urge,
particularly in the male, implying thereby that his behavior is beyond his
control, the idea being epitomized in a seemingly harmless phrase—“boys will
be boys!” This is a dangerous attitude and a threat to the social equilibrium.
The experts on the subject have proved it otherwise. The fact that it is no
more than a psychological urge has been distinguished from hunger
and thirst by the Quran as well. In Surah 2, verse 173, the Quran “forbids only carrion, and
blood and swine flesh, and that which hath been immolated to the name of any
other than Allah. But,” continues the nor transgressing, it is no crime for
him.” Thus it is amply clear that the Quran recognizes hunger and thirst as a
biological urge. It is not within man to be able to control it. Starvation
inevitably means physical annihilation. To prevent this the forbidden is no
longer forbidden. In contrast to this, in Surah 24, verse 33, the Quran points
out; “And let those who cannot find a match keep chaste” till they find one.
If sex were also a biological urge the Quran should have allowed sexual
relationship with those with whom forbidden, in case one can find no match.
But it suggests self-control indicating it to be a psychological
phenomenon.
Now, this psychological urge, says Dr. J.D. Unwin in his masterly
exposition on “Sex and Culture” depends on the extent of the “Sexual
opportunity” provided in a given society. The wider the circle of sexual
opportunity greater will be the possibilities and intensity of sexual urge. To
clarify the point, I would invite the readers to ponder over the fact that
even when men move freely in the “prohibited area”, that is, in the circle of
mothers, sisters, daughters, maternal and paternal aunts, the very thought of
sex does not occur to leave alone the awakening of the sexual urge, for the
simple reason that sexual relationship with theses women is prohibited. Thus
to keep the sexual urge of men in check, sexual opportunity should be reduced
to the minimum and the prohibited areas should be widened to the maximum. Once
this analysis is fully comprehended, the attitude of a “Muslim” towards women
becomes understandable, though condemnable. The history of “Muslim” men
is the history of unlimited sexual opportunity. This is the crux of the
whole problem.
This opportunity finds its full expression in the institution of
polygamy. In a monogamous system of marriage, the moment the man married,
every other woman in the world enters the prohibited area. Not until he
becomes a divorcee or a widower, can he think of another woman. Monogamy goes
a long way in giving woman a sense of security. But a “Muslim” can think of
any woman as his second, third and fourth wife. The avenues of unlimited
opportunity are constantly open to him. Easy and irresponsible divorce, when a
husband has merely to utter the word “divorce” thrice, further widens the area
of sexual opportunity. Polygamy and easy divorce do not complete the story.
Apart from four “harem” was enough to whet their appetite. Even today in our
society, although a man may never marry more than one wife all his life, he
knows that he can if he want to, and this makes all the difference in his
attitude towards women. Thus the very concept of polygamy, easy divorce and
slave girls will have to be done away with if women are to have any security
in this society.
At this stage it become incumbent on me to explain the issue of
polygamy in a little more detail, for it seems to be so inextricably glues to
the conventional “Muslim”.
Let it be declared in unequivocal terms that the Quranic law is the law
of monogamy. One man one woman is the rule. No man has the right to take more
than one wife. Indeed! Polygamy is the very negation of a woman’s dignity and
the beauty of married life.
In this law of monogamy, one exception has been made under
extraordinary and abnormal circumstances which have so far been inherent in
conditions of war. Men go forth to fight while women manage other departments
behind the lines in all kinds of capacities. Prolonged war conditions reduce
considerably the country’s manpower. It is inevitable that women will exceed
in the number of men. This large number of widowed and unmarried women must be
protected, sheltered and looked after in the fulfillment of heir basic needs
of life. The society must tackle this issue in such a way that the dignity of human being is
not hurt and undermined. It is possible that a society is so advanced
economically that all women can work for themselves and achieve economic
security and independence, and may not need the protection of a male bread
winner. It is also possible that a society may have reached such an advanced
stage of economic equilibrium that the basic needs of every individual are
naturally fulfilled as a matter of right. If none of these conditions as yet
prevail, a society may think of opening a “Home” for the unprotected women.
But as the experience of orphanages and even “old age homes” have shown us,
they are not “homes” – the inmates are more like outcastes in the society,
stigmatized for the rest of their lives. Another alternative could e that they
be absorbed in families as adopted “sisters,” and “daughters” but it is
doubtful as to whether they still feel dignified, receiving everything as a
matter of right. Living under the shadow of somebody’s magnanimity and favor
is the worst form of attack on the dignity of a human being. Actually, it is
up to the social order of the country to handle this delicate issue in such a
way that there is not the slightest suggestion of humiliation.
law of monogamy to meet his emergency, that is, women exceeding men by a big
ratio. The relaxation had to be made by the state and not by the individual on
his own. When a man takes more than one wife in such an abnormal situation, it
will be as a service to the nation, as a heavy burden on his happy married
life, and not by way of carnal pleasure. When the state does make this
relaxation, that is, when there is no other way out of this impasse, it is
still not binding on the men—they may marry only if they can do justice. ( It
is interesting to note that the word “justice” and not “love” used this is a
proof of monogamy being the only possible state of happy married life on can
do equal justice to even an enemy, but one cannot love four people equally at
the same time.)
Those who know the happiness and joy of a monogamous marriage can
realize that this duty cannot be very happily performed. Khalifah Omar (Allah
be pleased with him!) himself had to ask his friends to take his widowed
daughter in marriage, and they did not.
One thing must be borne in mind : This relaxation in the monogamous
system has been made because in this way a woman is given a home where she
retains her dignity and exercises command which only a wife can exercise. She
lives in the house by way of her right and not by favor and charity of
anyone.
It is obvious now that when such an emergency does not exist—for
example in Pakistan men exceed women—then there is absolutely
no cause or justification for more than one wife. If they do no, they are
leading un-Islamic lives.
Nothing could be more
painful that to see attempts being made to justify polygamy on basis other
than mentioned above. only a society that does not recognize women as human
beings and whose concept of marriage is no more than the satisfaction of brute
sexual lust, can coin up such inhuman and gruesome excuses as the first wife
barren, or having contracted an infectious disease, or being inflicted with
any physical disability, or disability in conjugal relation, and insanity. It
is a thousand pity that have found sanction in the “Muslim Family Laws
Ordinance” as well—am Ordinance that has been hated b our “Muslim” men
(specially religious hierarchy) as giving too many rights to women! And,
further more, those who talk in this manner do not realize that these
arguments can boomer age on them. What for instance is a wife to do if her
husband is barren or has contracted an infectious disease, is advisable and
insane? What the conventional “Muslim” needs is a lesson in the rudiments of
humanity.
Not only that polygamy is
inhuman in this context only, it is interesting to note that “purdah” and
segregation of the sexes is a
natural aftermath of polygamy. A polygamous society that gives unlimited
sexual opportunity to its males, women can never be secure and protected in
it. they remain a perpetual source of sexual urge for man, so much so, that
they have no other alternative but to hide from their unashamed gaze. “Purdah”
and segregation is unknown in monogamous societies. Hindu women first observed
“purdah” when Emperor Akbar laid the tradition of marriages between Muslims
and Hindus. The Hindu women were no longer safe from the polygamous “Muslims”.
Until then they moved about boldly, for as dark as “Muslims” were concerned,
they were more or less in the prohibited area.
Here it may be pointed out
that the western society, although monogamous by law are nevertheless immoral.
I would like to take this opportunity to dispel a very erroneous conception
that prevails amongst us regarding the western societies. Day in and day out,
we are reminded of their immoral doings due to their absence of “purdah”,
education of women, careers for women, and monogamous marriages,. With
reference to the last mentioned Muslims argue that by legalizing four wives
they have checked immorality, which the west can never achieve because of
their monogamous sstem. I fail to understand as to how an immoral act can
become moral by legalizing it!
As for the other factors,
they have nothing to do with immorality. I am not convinced as to how
education and careers for women, and desegregation of the sexes can make
people immoral. The cause of immorality lies elsewhere….it lies in the change
of values in the younger generations of Europe and America. They are no longer
convinced that extra-marital relationship before or after marriage has any
adverse or deteriorating effect on the society. For them it is just the right
thing to do to satisfy their sexual urge. This is not immoral according to
their new code values. Above all, “morals” in the West mean what is approved
by the society, it is not considered as immoral, irrespective of the fact what
people belonging to other societies think. Their behaviors should be judged
according to what is approved and disapproved by them. After all, we do
consider their eating of pork and drinking of alcohol as a part of their code
of society. We know that they do not consider anything wrong in eating and
drinking something that might abhor somebody else. So is their outlook on
sex-life. If today the western societies discontinue education and careers for
women and introduce “purdah” and segregation of the sexes, but their
values on sex-life remain unchanged, there can be no restrain on their sexual
behavior. Similarly, if our younger generation is going the western way, it is
not because women are acquiring education and discarding “purdah”, but because
they too like their western counterparts, are slowly beginning to doubt the
efficacy of a strict moral code and its impact on the society as a whole. I am
afraid that unless this problems is not looked at from this perspective, our
social, cultural and educational progress will suffer a set-back. We are at a
very delicate stage of our development, and a right or wrong decision can make
or mar the fufture of many generations to come.
For centuries “Muslim” men
have kept their women under house-arrest. Today they are staggering out in
realization of their fundamental human rights, a little uncertain may be, but
in complete wonderment at their own latent personalities and ever widening
horizon of new avenues for exploration. But unfortunately to our” Muslim” men,
a woman who moves out of her kitchen home for no purpose other than an evil
one. Consequently, she has become the target of an organized, relentless and
ruthless propaganda of a most obscene kind. Both on the individual and group
level a only these self-righteous moralists read carefully Surah 4, verse 24
of the Quran which considers an unproved charge against an innocent woman the
worst of crimes, they would think twice before they opened their mouths or
picked up their pens.
And this is not all ! On
the presumption that only bad women move out of their homes they think that
they can take liberties with them, their theory is that if women are bad,
how can men be good? There could not be a more derogatory thing that men could
say about themselves. Individual integrity, personal character, self-control
are qualities that men deny to themselves. Granted that all women who move
abroad are evil women, where is man’s own sense of right and wrong, his own
local development? Irrespective of a woman’s behaviors, a man should have his own values to
stand by, just as so many women have stood and are standing the test
irrespective of man’s immorality. I ask them : A man justified in going to
her? To those who take liberties with women so as to drive them back home from
colleges hospitals, and offices in the name of Islam with the plea that the
fact that these women came out of their homes suggests that they are not good
women, I ask: Does Islam allow them to go to the
prostitutes?
We are supposed to be
living in the second “Islamic Republic of Pakistan.” We women have every right
to ask the authorities in particular and the public in general as to whether
we can expect a better treatment than the one we are getting at the moment. If
there no one in this country who would come forward to protect us all? If not,
all that I can do is to draw the attention of my readers to the duties of a
Muslims society towards their women folk as explained in the Quran in Surah
33, verses 58,59,60,61,62.
When Muhammad (pbuh) and
his people migrated from Mecca to Medina, they had to face a situation very
similar to ours, except that the anti-social elements then comprised
non-Muslims. They teased and maligned women and bore the guilt of slander.
Since the Muslim migrants were not in a position of authority (somewhat like
the Muslims minority in Bharat) and since the hypocrites or “Munafiqeen” made
an excuse of not being able to recognize good women from bad, the women
were advised to wear a cloak as a mark of distinction when they moved abroad.
But of course that made no differences to the “Munafiqeen”. They did not cease
teasing and annoying women, for their hearts were diseased. And now that
Muhammad (pbuh) and his people were in authority, they were enjoined by the
Quran to rise against these anti-social elements and take measures that would
make it impossible for them to live there. If they continued to stay on and to
misbehave, they were to be deprived of their rights of citizenship. The last
resort was to inflict capital punishment only for cold-blooded murder, treason
and not these habitual criminals who make the life of women perpetually
insecure. The security of women is thus as important as the security of the
state and human life. Indeed! A society where women are not secure and
protected can never be a stable society, in fact its very survival will remain
in jeopardy.
The Quranic further makes
it clear that these were the measure taken by earlier societies under Divine
Guidance, so much so, that whenever such a situation is repeated, that is,
women are made to feel perpetually insecure, similar measure should be taken
to cope with it. these measures are therefore unchangeable for all times. My
contention, as stated in the very beginning, is that we the women of Pakistan
are always painfully insecure. From an “Islamic State” we have every right to
demand protection according to Quranic
measures.
These measures of course,
are only meant to cope a situation of emergency and abnormality. Something
more will have to be done to change the
attitude of “Muslim” men towards women fundamentally. This can be
done by changing this “Muslim” concept to the concept that the Quran
gives.
In the first place,
polygamy must be made illegal through legislation. The Muslim Family Laws
Ordinance only restrains polygamy, it does not abolish it. the Ordinance
should be so improved that absolute monogamy becomes the Law of Pakistan,
thereby conforming it with Quranic concept of marriage as explained above.
With it must also go all concepts of slave girls and “harems”. These
institutions may not be the vogue here as in Saudi Arabia, but the fact that
the conventional “Muslim” believed that this is permissible in Islam makes all
the difference in his attitude towards women. Hence these ideas should be
educated out of their minds. The Muslim Family Law Ordinance needs to be improved on the issue of
divorce. The husband still retains the monopoly in divorce matters. All that
he has to do is to inform the chairman of the Union Council who makes an
attempt at reconciliation. Hence there is no adequate protection for the wife.
According to the Quran both husband and wife have the right to divorce. The
Ordinance should include this concept and the judiciary of the country made
the guardian of both the parties
concerned.
Legislation on the basis
of these concepts, aided by proper education, will reduce sexual opportunity
to the minimum and widen the prohibited area to the
maximum.
Next, it should be made
known that the Quran expects absolute chastity from both men and women it does
not tolerate any dual standards of sexual morality—one for man and the other
for woman. In such a background the very concept of morality becomes
meaningless. Above all, the Quran could not be expected to envisage a
penal code where crime is no crime if undetectable! Thus it first addresses
man I Surah 24, Verse 30, to be modest and chaste, and not caste lewd eyes
around. In the succeeding verse, 31, it expects the women to do the same. This
uniform standard alone can set the tone of a social behavior where woman can
feel secure at any hour of the day or night at any
place.
Furthermore, women must be
places on equal legal footing with men (some legal aspects pointed out in the
Quran I hope to deal with in my next article.) they must be told that they are
human beings existing on their
own right, and tat they were not created for man ! the woman called
“Eve” is not a Quranic but a Biblical character, hence the prevailing Adam and
Eve theory should be blown into smithereens, for nothing has lowered the
position of women more than this theory. Once this theory is rejected, a woman
will not flaunt her sex appeal around. Up till now she has been told that her
only attribute is sex, and hence the only justification of her existence is
sex. No moralizing will do her any good unless she is convinced that she is a
human being, and as such equal to man. Thus when the Quran, in Surah 24, Verse
31, condemns the all out campaign for sex appeal among women, it is only
because it recognizes her as a human being with all its manifold attributes
and potentialities.
Without introducing these
changes, Pakistani Society can never expect to be a vigorous one, and the
level of its culture and productive everything will ever remain at a low ebb. I shall
summaries the essence of this article in the world of Dr. J.D. Unwin in the
way that only he could have done:
“Is, on the other hand, a
vigorous society wishes to display its productive energy for a long time, and
forever, it must re-create itself, I think, first, by placing the sexes
on a level of complete legal equality and then by altering its economic and
social organization in such a way as to render it both possible and tolerable
for sexual opportunity to remain at a minimum for an extended period, and even
for ever. In such a case the dace
of the society would be set in the Direction of the Cultural Process;
it would achieve a higher culture than has ever been attained; by the action
of human entropy its tradition would be argument and refined in a manner which
surpasses our present understanding.”
In the end I would like to
ask a question or two of our vulnerable religious divines!
For many years they have
been crying hoarse about the equality of mankind and derisively pointing
fingers at racial and color segregation and inequality in other countries. But
at the same time they have launched a virulent and organized campaign against
all those who state that women are equal to men. We women would like to know
of them whether we are human beings or not. When they talk of human equality,
do thy include women in it? this is my first
question.
Another target of this
theory of our religious divines is, and rightly enough, “original sin” among
Christians and the caste system among the Hindus—theories based entirely on
the factor of birth. Now, a woman is a woman because she was born such as. She
never was given the chance to choose before her birth. Thus birth is the
determining factor. Then are we to be punished for the “Crime” we never
committed? A Christian woman gains hope by her faith in the crucifixation of
Chirst. A Sudra hopes that if noting this, he may be a Brahman in the
next birth. What hope has a Muslim woman? This is my second
question.
The women of Pakistan demand a straight
categorical answer. No side-tracking in legal quibbling will do any good. Are
we or are we not Human Beings?
* Women are now said to be
51%